ass-sass-class-pizza:

THE COMMENTS ON NASH GRIERS INSTAGRAM ARE MAKING ME PISS MY SELF THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE DESERVES IT. YOUR BLUE EYES CANT GET YOU OUT OF THIS ONE U SHIT

trillow:

[police officer] “sir are you in possession of any illegal drugs”

“sure thing son whatchu need”

Nice things to whisper when hugging someone

yogurtville:

-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-soon
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-tonight….you.
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-yessssssssssssss
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this